MONDAY RAMBLE PART 3 “NOT FOR NOTHING”

Since I wrote that whole spill about grammar, people assume that I’m a geek that they have to use spell-check to email messages to. Let me tell you, there are a bunch of things that I don’t know and I used to be afraid to ask to find out the answer because I didn’t want to look stupid. But now I have gotten up the courage to make these things known.

For instance, The Super Mario Brothers are named Mario and Luigi, yet they are the Super Mario brothers. I never knew if they were named after Mario’s 1st name or if their last name was Mario…and yet this may be common knowledge or too trivial to even have an answer. Yet it has plagued me throughout my childhood years.

I don’t eat breakfast at McDonald’s as much as I used to, but when I did they stopped serving it at 11am from what I can remember. It may even be 10:30 at some spots but all I can envision is arriving at a Mickey D’s and going inside at approximately 10:47 or 10:51 and having the worker person say, “We’re serving lunch now” with a funky attitude. As if it’s my fault that I wanted hotcakes instead of French fries before 12pm. I always looked behind her/him to see if there were any breakfast remnants that I could point out and ask for. But they would just look at me crazily like they knew there was no breakfast evidence visible. I would be looking all puzzled and they would have the face that says, ‘I told you breakfast was over stupid.’ All I would see was burgers, Big Macs, maaaad fries but no hash browns, McSwine samiches or anything. And back then I loved me some pig. What do they have against breakfast?

It’s supposedly the most important meal of the day and McDonald’s shuts it down at the 1st chance they get. Does the morning menu not make as much money? Is it a hassle to warm up those frozen cakes? Or maybe it’s too challenging to the employees to have the lunch stuff and the breakfast stuff at the same time. And since when does Mickey D’s serve lunch anyway? Is there a dinner menu at 6pm with value meal entrees that I don’t know about? Call it what it is…laziness.

Not for nothing, I don’t know what I’m saying when I say “not for nothing.” What does that mean? It sounds like 2 negatives, which I know makes a positive, which sounds like I just negated what I was saying. So maybe not for nothing is like saying, “Something” but with more words. The funny thing is saying “not for nothing” with a long pause really gets people’s attention. Try it, folks will look at you intensely waiting for some profound statement, but instead you say something like this:

Not for nothing, why do people tell me they are giving 110 percent then others give 200 or 210 percent? I don’t know about you but I swore that 100 was the most percentage possible. I didn’t know you could go over. But I see ingredients on the back of products and it’ll contain 140 percent of vitamin C or A so I’m sure someone can argue me down but still there should be some consistency. Don’t give me 110 when there’s 111 right there. How am I supposed to know how much effort you’ve really put in? 220 percent sounds like a lot but an odd number may get me to thinking that you’ve not only given energy but you gave your percentage claim a thought or two as well. There are really no boundaries, and if you give infinite percent to something then you’re probably focusing too much percentage on your percentages.

How come when a book turns into a movie and I say the movie was good, some nerdy bookworm says the book was better? Of course it was, it had much more story but did it have pictures that moved, did it talk? Could you hear anything? Did you see cleavage? No! No you did not. Take your words on pages and go sit down somewhere, go watch a movie.

I think that’s enough of the things that puzzle me on the earth. My website is done. Shastimuli.com, which I did myself so if it sucks don’t tell me, just pretend you like it until I get someone to do a better one.

You made it this far, might as well leave a comment, it makes a difference…