Ask an MC with Sha Stimuli

Advice, Columns, Features | HHLO Staff | December 3, 2010 9:22 am

Sha has been kind enough to take some time out of his schedule to help you, or just answer your questions. If you have something you would like to ask Sha Stimuli go ahead and submit your questions to Who knows, maybe Sha can give you some life changing advice!

Ok, I realize some of you out there need therapy, advice, a virtual hug, whatever it may be. And a lot of those things either cost or cause you to leave your home. I am not a licensed physician at all, nor am I a therapist. I am just like you, except I have the heart to tell you the truth when you won’t tell yourself. So ask me about the industry, ask me about relationships, ask me about the best way to steal someone’s lady or how to tell a person they need hygiene help. Go ahead, ask an MC…

Dear Ask An MC (Sha Stimuli),

So I’m feeling this dude! He’s smart, intelligent, handsome, and seems very down to earth, problem is, we’re both shy and not into making the first move. We flirt back and forth, and I’m really liking his vibe, but how in the hell can we get together if we’re both too afraid of rejection to do anything about it?
I need some help getting over these butterflies so I can make the move!
Sick to My Stomach
Dear Sick,
No dude is flirting without cashing in on the subliminal work put in, unless he has a situation. i.e a girl, wife, or brokeness…if all of that is not a factor then y’all are both tripping. In the email/Facebook era, there’s no excuse for not stepping to someone. What kind of flirting are y’all doing? “Oh you look cute”…”Yes so do you.” What the hell is that?

You know how many women have hit me with emails that kind of, almost, halfway, somewhat, insinuate saying “I want to sleep with you”?? It’s the simplest thing in the world. You know what an “lol” can do for a sexual advance? It can ease any sentence. “Why dont you come over here and keep me company?….lol” or “You feel like playing naked Scrabble later?…just kidding”
I wouldn’t even know how to be shy or coy if I was in the dating world, but this isn’t about me…this is about you not realizing you have the world at your fingertips. 1st you identify what you want from dude.
A) Sex? B) old school dating? C) a real-lationship? Then you make your moves accordingly.
If it’s A then that’s easy: If I have to give you more sentences or ways to get a man to drop his trousers then you may have to check your own underwear to see if you’re really a woman.
If it’s B then you’re gonna have to ask him out to lunch or something corny where you pay to show you’re a move maker.
If it’s C then you’re in for a ride.
Then you have to analyze his likes, dislikes, education, job, kids, do you want him around your kids if you got em, you gotta hope he hits it right, then you gotta make sure his flirting is more than just a desire to see ya bush. I say pick A and work in reverse but I’m just an MC, you’re driving this vehicle…anyway.
Ask him through email or on the phone about his situation before you get too mushy. Then step up your flirts: cleavage pics, “come see me” text messages, “just thinking about you” emails from work, and if all else fails… I hate giving this one up but if you’re afraid of rejection…”I had a dream about you.” I should charge for that but it’s the easiest way to reel someone in when they ask about the dream. You take it from there, say you can’t tell them, or say y’all were about to get naked and you woke up, he’ll either ask for details, try to make it a reality because now he knows he’s not facing rejection or he’ll back up from fear that one night with you will have you wearing a stalker suit afterwards…you got it from here, keep me posted on this one.
Dear Sha,

My girlfriend and I have been together for about six months now and
things, overall, have been pretty great. She’s goal-oriented, really
driven, supportive, etc. Except, a couple of months ago, I did notice
a problem. After picking her up from work one night, she climbed into
my car and a look of disgust came upon her face. “What are you
listening to?” She was referring to my Big Boi album. I now understand
that my girl HATES rap music. For a guy that lives, eats and breathes
hip hop, this is a very painful blow. She’s an amazing person
otherwise, but I don’t know how to reconcile this. I love my girl, but
hip hop is and always will be my first love. What should I do?


Heartbroken Headphones

Dear Mr. Headphones,
My dumb ass had a line on my 1st mixtape that said something about me trying to ultimately find a girl that didn’t care about music, rhyming or rapping and then I’d probably be happy…Who knew my girl would take that crap seriously?

I never thought I could be with someone that didn’t love hip-hop as much as me. Car trips where Eminem is frowned upon and Erykah Badu is praised can be a little tough.
But here’s the thing, if you dig someone enough, all the likes and dislikes that come with that person are part of a package deal that you won’t mind accepting. Corny right? I thought I liked a chick back in the days, and then she showed up with a wack, mohawky haircut and I thought, ‘I don’t really like her that much to deal with this.’ I couldn’t get over the cut.
I thought I was feeling another shorty waaay back and then we got intimate and she smelled funny, another woman had unattractive parents, there was one that was beautiful and perfect but she had a mice/roach gang war in her crib…and bad kids.
You get the idea, there are dealbreakers that don’t take much thought.

I meet in the middle nowadays, my lady has to at least appreciate good music, she may not want to hear the most underground spitting or watch a Smack battle but you gotta at least sit your girl down and say, “Look this is Big Boi, one half of the greatest duo since RunDMC, give it a shot and I’ll listen to your Bonnie Raitt CDs or Sting or whatever it is you like.”
If your chick ain’t a compromiser, you probably have bigger issues than hip-hop. If she is, play her some stuff that’s closer to what she likes, females dig Drake and Kanye, some even like Stimuli but you ain’t heard that from me.

“Sha, I just moved to New York for college, so of course I’ve had nothing but women on my mind. With so many of my lame classmates taking girls on dates to things they could be doing anywhere, how can I wow the ladies with something authentically Brooklyn?”
– Craig Swanson
Brooklyn, NY by way of Louisville, KY.
Dear Craig,
Well I experienced the opposite scenario in my collegiate days coming from BK and going to school in Iowa for a year. I thought I had to adapt and cater to the midwest when all I had to really do was rep my hood all day. They hadn’t seen gold teeth or heard NY slang up close.
The crazy thing about NY women and Brooklyn girls is most of them(and I hate to generalize) haven’t traveled like that. Louisville, Kentucky isnt Paris, France but it sounds like it to some young girls in the city. I would say use that to your advantage, ask them to show yo country ass around, then slowly hip them to your knowledge of Brooklyn and your surroundings. Women love surprises. Pretty soon, you’ll have em bragging saying, “yea I got me a Kentucky dude.”
And I dont know about you but for me, college and dating werent in the same sentence. Students are broke, and either focused on sex or studying. Date thru email and Facebook, dorm visits count as outings, and remember news travels fast in college, so pick quality over quantity.

Once again, if you have a question or need some advice from an MC, go ahead and ask at


  1. gabrielle says:

    I liked this… I couldnt think of any questions.Im going to try to ask the most difficult question for the next one.. Ha! “Naked Scrabble” Really, Sha? LOL!! Lmao! at the beautiful chic with her roaches, mice & bad children..
    I alwayz like your rambles… <<– Not flirting….

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