Monday Ramble #55 “How Boomerang Changed My Life”

Monday Ramble #55 “How Boomerang Changed My Life”

In 1992 my social life changed in a way that I couldn’t foresee before stepping into a movie theater to watch what I thought would be a simple comedy starring Edward Murphy.

I didn’t know much about dating or sex back then. I still don’t today.
But here I am almost 20 years later, and I’m now realizing how much of an effect the movie Boomerang had on my way of thinking.

Yea we still say lines from Coming to America and Raw, but Boomerang shaped my ideas about relationships between men and women, friends, and even co-workers.

We all know the lines that still resonate today with movie heads that like to repeat classic phrases from scripts. “Strangé,” “coordinate,” “what time does the show start?” “That’s a nipple ‘cuz I’m drooling,” “Mack daddy vibe.”
Those are going to stay with people like me.

But I’m talking about an in-depth look at the overall dynamic of what it meant for a kid to see Marcus Graham bag women using different techniques. To see him surrender his body for job advancement, and to see him get played, lost, open, dumped and loved again, all with one of the worst make-up jobs in cinematic history was epic.

Here are some of the things that captured and molded my young mind as I watched this tale that made movies like Strictly Business look amateur.
1.The Mack Daddy Vibe

Marcus had the ill bachelor pad, and his finances were pretty much in order.
He used fresh rosemary in his salmon, he didn’t care about dropping $200 on a date, he had a big bed, and no need for a car since he lived in the city. This was life.

What I Learned:

Make money first. Don’t just settle for some chick you like halfway just to get out of mom’s crib or because you knocked her up. Get your bread right, get an apartment, have a job you actually like and can advance in. This wasn’t just about Marcus though…I got to witness brown people not complaining about money, not splitting the bill at lunch, and everyone had their own apartments. I hadn’t seen anyone financially stable on TV other than The Cosby Show so it was cool to know that I could become an adult and possibly sustain myself one day. So I thought.

2.Standards.

The way he lured Christie in with the dog story and the lie about his ex was mean. And then he snuck out of her apartment because of her feet. Marcus knew what he wanted and although his boys pointed out, “You don’t f–k her feet,” he had a plan.

What I Learned: The feet were symbolic. It wasn’t just about corns and bunions. It was about hygiene, self-worth, and the fact that finding a woman who cared deeply about all aspects of her body meant a lot to Mr. Graham. I understood that. Songs like “Smelly Cat” derived from this ideology. I saw where he was going. You have to have deal breakers when you’re dating. It’s like spotting someone’s dirty underwear or seeing a filthy toilet. Maybe this is just me, but some people have hang-ups they can’t get over. Roaches in your bedroom, hairy backs, missing teeth, ashy elbows,  a uni-brow, lower back tattoos, whatever the case may be…I got it from Marcus Graham that day that some folks have standards, expectations or as I like to call them: preferences.

3.Mack Acknowledgement

When your boys say things like, “That never happens to me,” it’s a little bit of hate mixed with envy. And that isn’t always bad, but Gerard definitely realized that he didn’t have what Marcus did. And when Marcus tried to school them about paying attention to women and being romantic, he was met with negativity about the romance that “skeets” out of him after an orgasm.

What I Learned:
There are changes after an orgasm. I don’t think I had ever had one back in 1992. And if I did, I doubt there was anyone else in the room at the time. But it’s safe to say that I started researching the difference between actions before sleeping with a woman and after. And low and behold many moons later, I remembered Marcus saying something like, “After I hit it, I don’t call no more,” and life made sense to me. Yes it was cruel but it was honest. And it wasn’t honest to the women, so in essence it was foul, but to me it was guidance. I knew I didn’t have to be that way.

That was my mission: To be better than Eddie Murphy’s character. Don’t ask me how that turned out.

4.The Co-Worker Rule

Jacqueline made it clear that she didn’t date co-workers and being that I had only had classmates at that time, this was new knowledge to me. She was also Mr. Graham’s superior but it worked out in his favor ultimately.

What I Learned:

Slow and steady wins the race. Taking the co-worker role seriously and having her over the apartment for a work related dinner was perfect. Unfortunately she played him by being aloof and unaffected by the cooking gesture, the nice apartment or the big bed. But yet I still got a lot from the transaction. He finally cashed in on a business trip to New Orleans and it let me know that out of town is when the rules change, hair gets let down and secrets develop. I paid attention.

5.The Boomerang

Jacqueline was sort of pretty but she had power. Her power was attractive. The fact that she had to check her schedule for them to hook up again, she came through naked under a coat, dropped money on the nightstand, and didn’t want to spend the night hipped me to the notion of the female player.

What I Learned:

Be aware of the boomerang. Sometimes women can simply get you hooked by just being a difficult catch or making you work. I became very aware of that fact and I wasn’t about to let some skinny chick with massive weave get me to fall for her using “I’m not that into you” tactics.

6.The Eloise Factor.

Marcus slept with Lady Eloise to advance his career but would not sleep with Strangé.

What I Learned:

I learned as he learned. Know who to submit to if you’re going to get on the casting couch. Figureheads and icons are not CEOs and decision makers.

7.Angela
Of course they made Halle Berry look a bit afrocentric and homely in the beginning of the film but I could see the switch coming. Marcus noticed Gerard was playing around and saw an opportunity to take down a girl that was obviously feeling him. So after cleaning up his house in a somewhat predictable scene, Marcus turned the forehead kiss into an assault.

What I Learned:

You don’t have to have all the girls. Sure Angela was cute and all that, and they never showed their love scene, (Halle would wait until later in her career to let Billy Bob beat it up Academy Award style) but Marcus didn’t have to hit it unless he dug her. And in his defense, he most likely did dig her. But the challenge of the girl that was confident enough to walk away (Jacqueline) was too much for him. So I figured if you see someone that’s wifey material, don’t soil her until you’re really ready. Oh and the forehead kiss is deadly.

8.Gerard and Tyler

Tyler had seemingly low standards. Gerard was slightly awkward, genuinely nice but not the kind of guy that makes a woman want to disrobe. I peeped that. On his date with Angela, although we didn’t see much, we know he fumbled a little, shined at times but failed when it was time to make her see why she should desire him. Then he allowed her to stay alone with Marcus to help clean up. Then there was the confession. At a pool hall over a few beers, Marcus tried to get clearance to date Angela after he saw her naked.

What I Learned:

Tell your homie before you indulge in something he might be interested in…maybe. I don’t think Gerard was a punk or anything; he was just trying to get in the friend zone and patiently wait it out. The Friend Zone is a winning spot to be in if you know you can escape. He had no way out and I saw that very early. I was as a kid thinking, “Never get that haircut, don’t be corny even if you have to wear a suit to work everyday, wear boxers to help out with sperm count, and if you know the friend zone is a means to an end, cash in before your homeboy does.”

9.The Toni Braxton Song
Angela gave Marcus back his mojo after what he perceived as heartbreak. He showed Jacqueline he was himself again after she embarrassed him at work. Then she stroked his ego by advancing, and he took down the woman he thought he was in love with. All while Angela waited at his place of residence for him to return.

What I Learned:

A) Don’t move in a girl until you know you don’t wanna smash her friend/co-worker anymore.
B) Don’t let your ego get you in bed with someone that doesn’t deserve it.
C) If it does though, come up with a better excuse than “I took a walk, I had to sort some things out that were still in my head.”
D) Never tell a woman that loves you, that you care for her. Or that another woman said you’re a better person now because of her.

E) If you do tell her, don’t do it in person.

10. The Get Back

Marcus had Jacqueline in bed ready to go (with baggy panties on) and it hit him that he loved someone else. I personally loved it, but it was kind of wrong. Angela took him back because she still loved him. Right when he seemed like he lost her, he broke the barrier and got her to shed a tear. Chances are, he cheated again. Maybe even with Jacqueline. I hoped for a part 2 but it never happened and I guess it wasn’t necessary.

I do think being with someone you’re not feeling can actually help you recognize who you might really love. But don’t quote me on that. There’s a lot more that I got from this film that I probably didn’t even notice like advertising techniques, or how to approach someone your interested in without sounding wack. I might have even picked up a lesson or two on coordinating mushroom shirts and how to turn rabbit fur into earrings.

Or maybe I looked too deep into this film and I should take real life as an influence over some made up script from the 90’s. Nah I think I’ll stick to the first one…thanks Eddie.

Thoughts?