Monday Ramble #59 “Angels & Demons”

Monday Ramble #59 “Angels & Demons”

I thank everyone that purchased, thought about buying, told a friend, or looked at the ad for my book online. We moved some good units for a pre-release and I am truly blessed to have an idea turn into reality. This blog was created for the book and now it has become more than a blog but a chance for me to vent, share and connect with people across the globe. Every comment holds weight, every page visit means something and outside of music I exist in another world that many people couldn’t foresee. With that said, I have lyrics to share:

I wake up with the voice in my head that says God’s watching,
Studied scriptures and even skimmed thru Allah’s doctrine,
Minutes later I’m thinking of killing haters, and ways to bring in some paper so having faith is a hard option,
My moms told me that praying will get me far in life,
And anytime it gets hectic just give ya heart to Christ,
But I don’t know if the Lord can help my bars get tight
Or make the fans think I’m a star that’s nice, I’m an artist writing
Real shit, real feelings, angels in my ear
Like, “Do better, be better, pick a new career,
Maybe teacher, preacher, counselor, physicist, engineer,
Someone doing things with meaning for people,”
But then I hear
These demons with the horns like, “Rap, rhyme, spit it,
Do a song wit a dance, talk about the slutty bitches,
Put half naked chicks in the video, pour liquor
on they asses,
Throw some stacks at the camera and yell, ‘nigga, nigga, nigga,
I’m ill, I’m getting it, fuck school,’
sell drugs, get a buzz, rock some shiny fake jewels,”
But the angels come back screaming, “Make smart cool!
Put depth in ya music, reach the youngest, dumbest fools,
While you kill it over beats and they sleeping,
You break the rules
and have ’em thinking while they smoking and drinking and gripping tools,”

…And I choose the darkside, sorta like Tre and Doughboy in that car ride


And then I shout “Dough let me out!”
Knowing that this is wrong
I’m conflicted in my life and in my songs.

I got these Angels on my shoulder,

But these demons keep on talking and they’re trying to win me over
Got me thinking bank robbery, Obama I need change,
I envision car jacking this old man in the Range,
Angels: “Work hard at your craft and deal with the pain,
Everyday ain’t always sunny, you wanna just make it rain.”
Demons: “Sha look at how long you been in the game,
Ain’t nobody trying to hear what you yapping, you sound lame,
You ain’t shooting, you ain’t selling, you ain’t balling you’re the same,
Dude rapping ’bout your raps in your raps, then you complain.”
Damn…
But the angels start to whisper,
“Wife up a queen,” then the demons tell me dis her,
The soldiers with the wings say lift brothers and sisters,
But the creatures with the tails say get money consistent,
Angels say, “God’s son showed you the path,”

Demons say, “The savior was hated until he passed,
Sha you was born broke, parents called you accident,
Jesus got gold and a holiday named after him,”

Angels want me Christian or Catholic with wife and kids,
Demons want me flipping bricks, getting clapped, or doing a bid
Angels: “Forget the whores and the groupies, the music biz.”
Demons: “Thinking small, you’ll never be Pac or Big stupid.”

These are two verses from a song on The Calling which will drop later this month entitled “Angels & Demons.”

I’m not sure why I put the words up but I know that sometimes we all have two sides speaking to us when we have to make certain decisions. We wonder which one is right or wrong, and what choice mirrors who we really are. At some points we make decisions that don’t seem like who we know ourselves to be at all. We rationalize our mishaps, or we defend our lies, we omit the truth from our minds so that doing something kind of stupid is acceptable when we stare into our own eyes. I am guilty of this.

To me it’s similar to a demon trying to convince you to do something that doesn’t connect with your heart. But then again if a thought or deed feels like a desire, what makes it incorrect? What if that desire is what will make you instantly joyful? Do you not fulfill it because someone else will suffer or because it’s not morally correct?

How do you know which entity is in your ear? Maybe you never really know for sure until hindsight hits and you get to analyze, learn from yourself, and use the past to affect the present. There are so many times in my life that I am afraid that something I’m doing is not the best choice, and the outcome will be one that I will regret later on.

And then that same decision spawns some negative…as well as positive situations, and the result is I meet people, or spark ideas and most likely I possibly write a song that would not have happened without whatever adversity I faced. It makes you wonder if everything really happens for a reason and if It Is Written for real.

Is this present moment really all there is to concern myself with? Right now was meant to be? Maybe the voices in my head are there to help guide me, but whatever I choose is simply a choice that leads me to the spot that I was already going to reach. Or could every turn possibly be new and unfathomed? There may be no reason to dwell on the path you didn’t pick after hitting the fork in the road. But somehow we still drift off to a dimension that has us pondering, “What if I would have listened to the voice in the other ear?”

For some it’s left and right brain dialogue, for others it’s good vs evil, lazy against effort, instant gratification battling delayed bliss, or simply the higher version of yourself trying to reveal itself while the selfish, thoughtless, egotistical you pokes out its chest in an attempt to run the psychological show. The concept that there is no wrong outcome, no Heavenly mistakes, no coincidences and no real accidents could be an inevitable yet difficult truth. Tell me your thoughts.

Check out my book! No pressure

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16 Comments on “Monday Ramble #59 “Angels & Demons””

  1. Carlos says:

    1. That book is funny. I had no idea other people were weird like me. You know I’m like a Hip Hop infomercial so I put a lot of people on to it.

    2. Let me provide commentary on this song for a minute. The title and concept is EPIC and I am already imagining the visual for it.

    “Someone doing things with meaning for people”

    – as a teacher, I can say that standard professions dont ensure a sense of purpose. The principals always tell us that if you can reach just one kid then you did your job, but at the end of the year if a certain percentage of kids dont pass so that the school can get it’s props, they looking at you like “Son, you fuckin up my cheese.” It’s like as a teacher, you dont always wanna hear that “just one kid” shit and as a rapper you dont always wanna hear that “the real heads feel you” shit, especially if they aint voting with their dollars. All I am saying it that, neither path is good or evil. We just have to find a balance between profit and purpose regardless of which career we choose.

    Damn, I must be fucked up because I agree with the Devil in a lot of the statements. I just flip it and make it mean what I need it to mean.

    “These demons with the horns like, Rap, rhyme, spit it,”

    – I agree that you should rap, rhyme, spit it.

    “The savior was hated until he passed,Sha you was born broke, parents called you accident,Jesus got gold and a holiday named after him”

    – I dont know much about Jesus but if he and you were hated on, born broke, and mysteriously birthed then you are in good company and maybe the gold plaque and holiday are on the way.

    “Thinking small, you’ll never be Pac or Big stupid.”

    – Had Tupac been cool with being a roadie and had Christopher decided to keep slangin, Pac and Big would have never been Pac or Big. It’s just that when they were around, they had to depend on majors. That is not the case today, e.g. Immortal Technique. You dont have to sell out to be Pac or Big because being independent is not thinking small unless you independently think small. It’s a choice. You were given this gift by God, not the Devil. Maybe you thought he “meant me to push a Bentley” when he could have meant you to have money when the rent due. Success is not being rich. Success is making your vocation your vacation.

    Damn, Sha got me playing devil’s advocate for the Devil. I dont know if you meant to flip it and have people identifying with the Devil by the end of the song, but if so, it would be consistent with your #dopestorytellingtracks style.

    • Sha Stimuli says:

      Who know u wld side with the devil?? Ha. I dont think I mean the other side in such a Satanic way but just feeding the population with foolishness, bragging and focusing on whatever it takes to get bread. U hear all the time “U know what u need to do?” Ur right about Pac and Big too. I think I’m gonna leak this song. U got the crazy proverbs and slogans. Imma use those, vocation and vacation; and profit and purpose. Wooh! That’s fire right there.

      • Carlos says:

        Man, please use anything I say in a song, but say Carlos in it too. It has always been my dream to get my name in a song but in the verse like “and Vic said that he might be single until he’s grounded” not like “shout out to my nigga Carlos” in the outro. That’s cool. You can throw that in too but Lord knows I wanna be a part of the lyrics. My favorite rapper thinks I’m dope. Bizzaro.

        I agree about the foolishness and bragging to a certain extent, but focusing on getting bread is a good thing so long as you dont do it in a way that is inconsistent with your values. I think that is what you mean by the “whatever it takes” part. again, I just choose to “read it how I need it” (c).

        U know what you need to do? Come up with a dance for The Smelly Cat song. The ladies can do the butterfly but they gotta cover their crotch with one hand like Michael Jackson while pinching their nose with the other one. Most of these kids dont know nothing about the butterfly or MJ so they will think you invented it.
        (niggas is gone feel that nigga, that’s the old to the new, that’s gone brang us back) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwZYEMgpYPw

      • Sha Stimuli says:

        That smelly cat dance might work. I shall put ya name in a song but y the hell is a Canibus song on my page???? U know I hate that guy

  2. girlwiththedoubletimeflow says:

    Everything is a choice. sometimes humans make the wrong choice. we tell ourselves “that wasn’t for me” or “everything happens for a reason” but that is simply not true. life is one big lesson. sometimes we make bad decisions, sometimes we make good decisions. along the way, you learn who you are..your authentic self is defined by how you feel about about the outcome of the decisions we make.. everything is a choice. I do think sometimes God or the divine orders our steps but mostly it’s free will.. people die with what if’s and wudda-cudda’s .. Your safest bet is to follow your gut and hope it plays out well.

  3. Matt says:

    I’m not a religious person by any standards.. more specifically, I’m an atheist.. although I don’t believe there’s some higher power judging my actions, I still try to live right and be a good person.. but there’s always a grey area somewhere, where maybe I know I’m not telling someone something they’d want to know or I’m doing something I feel bad about, or I have to make a decision where the right choice isn’t as obvious as it could be. My philosophy on this sort of thing is basically do good when you can and rationalize the bad when you need to. Remember that no one is perfect, everyone makes mistakes, but the best people learn from their mistakes and become better people. Too much of anything is never a good thing, life is about finding a balance, and that would include finding a balance between the good and bad. For me, the goal is to pursue my own happiness without compromising the ideals of who I am as a man. Sometimes I fuck up, do things I regret, but all in all, I feel that I contribute more positive than negative into the world and my conscience is clear.

    Digging the book so far, Sha, and really looking forward to The Calling. Happy New Year without the S on it haha

    • Sha Stimuli says:

      Man thanks so much for this! Preciate u copping the book and commenting on my thought. U got some depth with u. Balance of good and bad is real. I need that

  4. Louve says:

    As usual, this ramble is thought provoking! As I was reading, I can hear my mother in my head saying, “What’s sweet to you now, can be sour later!!!”, SMH!!!

  5. Carlos says:

    Lupe and Canibus? Im slippin man. I gotta get hip to this stuff.

  6. dan says:

    I’ve been fortunate enough to work with quite a few Artist’s and been around plenty of Emcee’s in my day Sha. And I can tell you this…

    You’re already there man.

    I’ll be working with So & So and think, man, Sha would have killed this song…

    Hope all is well with you man. If you are ever back in NYC and need another ringer on the court, let me know…

  7. Gabrielle says:

    Sooo deep.. Puts me at rest because sometimes I feel alone with the way I think.. Dope!

  8. jtrufe says:

    I was just talking to my manz about this…I think everything that happens our that we do is allowed by God, but God does have a will for our lives that we can either choose to follow or not.
    I was thinking about if their is a soulmate or perfect woman for me and I came to the conclusion that it isn’t. My folks weren’t meant for each other but they had 3 great kids, sorta like a blessing in the curse. So whatever decisions we make can turn out good or we can continue to make dickhead moves and get a way worse life than intended

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