Monday Ramble #59 “Angels & Demons”Posted: January 3, 2012 Filed under: Just thoughts, MONDAY RAMBLE | Tags: Angels & Demons, bathroom, hip-hop, homer simpson, Jesus Christ, Lil Wayne, monday ramble, mondayramble.com, rap music, the calling, The Toilette Papers: The #1 Number 2 Book 16 Comments
Monday Ramble #59 “Angels & Demons”
I thank everyone that purchased, thought about buying, told a friend, or looked at the ad for my book online. We moved some good units for a pre-release and I am truly blessed to have an idea turn into reality. This blog was created for the book and now it has become more than a blog but a chance for me to vent, share and connect with people across the globe. Every comment holds weight, every page visit means something and outside of music I exist in another world that many people couldn’t foresee. With that said, I have lyrics to share:
I wake up with the voice in my head that says God’s watching,
Studied scriptures and even skimmed thru Allah’s doctrine,
Minutes later I’m thinking of killing haters, and ways to bring in some paper so having faith is a hard option,
My moms told me that praying will get me far in life,
And anytime it gets hectic just give ya heart to Christ,
But I don’t know if the Lord can help my bars get tight
Or make the fans think I’m a star that’s nice, I’m an artist writing
Real shit, real feelings, angels in my ear
Like, “Do better, be better, pick a new career,
Maybe teacher, preacher, counselor, physicist, engineer,
Someone doing things with meaning for people,”
Read the rest of this entry »
Monday Ramble #39 Thank God?Posted: April 25, 2011 Filed under: Almost Funny, Just thoughts, MONDAY RAMBLE | Tags: Criss Angel, David and Goliath, David Blaine, Egyptian, God, Harriet Tubman, Hebrew, Hitler, Jesus Christ, Joshua, Monday Ramble #39 Thank God?, Moses, over-religified, underground railroad 9 Comments
There are people in your circle, maybe some relatives or a few friends that happen to be somewhat, slightly “over-religified,” and you may not know how to tell them.
Does someone mention the Lord a little too much? Is Jesus coming up in convos that he need not be in? Is Christ getting tagged in anecdotes, banter and overall everyday life by an acquaintance of yours while you cringe with the hopes that they would just let some occurrences be handled on Earth? Just send them this post and walk away.
The other day I thanked God that I didn’t leave my Blistex in the house. Then one time I gave him thanks for getting somewhere safely. One was trivial, the other, a little more understandable. But some folks have a habit of handing God and/or Jesus awards for things they have nothing to do with.
You know who I’m talking about. Those people that thank God the drive-thru was still open or the ones praising Jesus because their corns on their toes went down before sandal season, I get it. God Almighty fixes it all.
Does He or She really though?
There are instances where I’m not so sure the shout out to the deity of your choice is in order.
I know it may slip out. A “Oh God!” here, a “Thank You Jesus!” there, but being thankful you lasted long because she was gonna talk about you was most likely all your doing.
“Praise Jesus he wasn’t small,” technically you may have a case but I’m uncomfortable now…you know what I mean. Leave God out of it.
I’ve heard spiritual shout outs that the traffic slowed down…that the line at the DMV wasn’t long…that the babysitter was available so you could go to the club…that your spouse didn’t check your phone when you forgot to lock it. Really? We’re thanking God for some obscure things and I’m sure He’s saying, “Wasn’t me.”
But that doesn’t stop you does it?
I know we’ve been on teams where we pray before a game. Sometimes we ask to be injury-free but other instances we ask for Heavenly assistance for a victory.
Now I’m sure there’s some thanking going on once the game is done but don’t assume He chose your team over the losers.
God doesn’t pick one squad over another because you had a better prayer.
Ok so maybe you’re thanking God for the chance to win, or the will, or the physical strength but have you ever prayed for someone else to sprain an ankle? Well some of us are too specific.
Thankful those shoes were on sale? That you won that eBay auction?
That shawty’s man went away for a week?
God’s not accepting your award my friend.
Now that I think about it, according to the Bible, God did choose David over Goliath and he had Joshua kill a lot of folks and he did destroy the world with a waterslide so maybe he does pick sides.
You know I was in deep thought a few days ago when I saw a small part of the movie, The Ten Commandments and I noticed Moses with all his plagues and tricks that got the Pharaoh to let his people go and I wondered if God is a racist.
I mean he got the Hebrews out of bondage, bodied the first-borns of everyone, changed water into blood, parted a sea…but all the Negros got was Harriet Tubman and an underground railroad.
I guess it took some time to work out the kinks and now we’re all cool on the surface and if you think about it, Moses’ folks got jacked again years later with the whole Hitler debacle.
Well it wasn’t really the same people but you know what I mean. I guess God isn’t a racist after all; maybe he’s just slow with deliverance.
I’m sure glad I’m not a slave now. I wouldn’t be a good slave at all. And if I was in Moses’ place back in the days, and I found out I was really Hebrew after I had been an Egyptian prince, I know I would have kept it on the low and changed the game from the inside. I would have kept the perks, got the crown and then let my people go, he took the difficult route because of God and whatnot. It made for a solid story though.
So I guess I wouldn’t make a great slave or a strong deliverer. Well thank Jesus I’m not in the olden days. Is olden a word?
And when you thank Jesus, does God get jealous or does He think it’s ok because they’re like intertwined or whatever. I don’t know too much about religion but I think the Bible has some cool fables…I mean facts.
I don’t know why snakes don’t talk in today’s times, or why hair doesn’t give you strength, or why I couldn’t walk through fire, chill in a whale’s stomach or fight a giant… and the closest thing we have to miracle workers are David Blaine and Criss Angel but I’ll take it.
Thank Christ you read this…oh and sorry if I offended you and your beliefs. I’m not really sorry. Happy Easter!
Monday Ramble #34 Thee EndPosted: March 21, 2011 Filed under: Just thoughts, MONDAY RAMBLE | Tags: aliens, April Fool’s Day., Catholics, cats, cows, Crips, dogs, Dominicans, Five Percenters, Israelites, Jesus Christ, Jews, Klan members, March Madness, Masons, monday ramble, mondayramble.com, monkeys, Muslims, NCAA basketball tournament, Obama, Puerto Ricans, roaches, sha stimuli, shastimuli.com 7 Comments
As some of you have done, I picked some teams to win in the NCAA basketball tournament that lost. And I was upset for 12 seconds about it.
In an ironic twist I played in a tournament game myself yesterday and was not victorious at the end of four quarters.
If someone had picked my team and had to watch us lose by one point they would probably be disappointed like I was. That brought me to the revelation that you cannot control everything.
And I thought about who came out worse in this ordeal, the person choosing a team or the actual team member? And then I got hungry and I forgot what profound question I had asked myself when it hit me…
Why am I concerned with March Madness when the world is supposedly near its end?
Why are any of us going to work, or not robbing banks or looting liquor stores or supermarkets or living out our sexual fantasies or saying what we’ve always wanted to say on our Facebook walls?
Because we don’t know if it’s all about to be over for real. I was told the date was May 21st or something. And that sucks for the babies and kids, I mean it sucks for everyone but I still think it’s just a rumor to make Obama look bad. Someone that disputed his presidency would just love to get a chance to say “42 Caucasian leaders of the free world and we all survived, one half-African and everybody dies…”
I’m not blaming Barack but I do know this, if it’s all ending soon I need some sort of confirmation and clarity on which religion is the winner.
I need to know who to pray to right away. I’m not saying I’m gonna switch teams but I will fill out my brackets differently.
If the Catholic’s way of confessing is the way to go holla at me, are the Jews the chosen people? Are the Five Percenters right? Should I have paid attention in that Mason meeting I snuck into? I know the Israelites are still on some corners going in, and even though a lot of them got haircuts after the ball dropped in 2000, there’s a chance that their philosophy was on point.
Who wants to get to Heaven’s gate and find out you were giving credit to the wrong deity? Not me. Jah? Allah? Zeus? Somebody throw me a bone here.
They told me accepting Jesus Christ as my Lord and whatnot would guarantee some other stuff that sounded splendid and I bought into that, I signed up years ago, so if that changed and there’s a new God like there’s new math I’m not up on…I’m just saying.
Not that I’m sure about the whole Heaven thing, I just think Hell would have to be easy as…well, Hell to get in. So they would probably be packed, therefore allowing more space in Heaven for people that had evil thoughts, but not so bad actions. There should be an action list and a thought list because most of us have daily thoughts about smacking infants, stabbing supervisors or poisoning significant others but we don’t do it.
And that’s why this omnipotent being that I have an open-mind about right now should understand and let folks in.
But what if there’s no Hell, Heaven, or purgatory crap anyway? And God is just “love” and the churches were made up years ago because every week people needed reminders why they shouldn’t kill someone that was poorer or uglier than they were. What better way to stop madness on earth than to suggest that in the afterlife you would be punished?
Well it scared me as a kid, mention Hell and I was really contemplating being burned over and over with some crazy demons eating my flesh then returning the next morning. That’s not what happens? Well it helped me not go to jail as a pre-teen.
So yea like I was saying, what if God is just a feeling and the bible stories were all just exaggerated tales of talking snakes, long-haired warriors, seas splitting, giants falling to boys, fatal floods, immaculate births, saviors healing, dying, returning and you giving a non-refundable tithe so you feel better about your weekly deeds of shame and indiscretion?
And all the different religions were just franchised moneymakers that derived from the same sun-worshipping theory that mirrors Christmas and Easter. I’m not going into that whole birth and resurrection correlation to the sun’s position but some of y’all know what I mean. Google it.
Or reincarnation could be the ticket, what if no one ever really dies? You just come back as a higher-evolved being of consciousness…or a lower one. And technically monkeys, cows and roaches are more advanced spiritually than humans so we may just return as one of them. Damn, I hath depressed myself.
That wasn’t my mission.
Wrap this up, I shall with some positive wishes for the end of the world:
-At least we will all share a death date.
-There’s nothing like knowing your enemies aren’t going to outlive you.
-The terminally ill don’t have it so bad after all.
-If your horoscope for that day mentions next week, you will know they’ve been lying all this time.
-Sex with a stranger? Not such a bad idea after all.
And although I don’t know how it’s going to happen, I hope it’s not nuclear or flames or even water again.
I think if “God person” is reading this, He or She should end it with some angels flying down and picking people up one by one so no one knows who gets dropped into the fire or brought to the clouds. You just see them fly away and…you know what…maniacal aliens would be better. It would force all races, gang members and maybe even some animals to ban together and fight for survival.
Dominicans would fight alongside Puerto Ricans, inmates and correction officers would hold hands, Klan members and Crips would join forces, dogs would align with cats, oh what an independence day it would be. If we all die like that, I’d be cool.
What do you think about the end being near?