To Date Or Not To Date (Ten Reasons He’s Not Dating You)Posted: February 15, 2016
A friend of mine named P, recently got divorced. He’s around 39 and he was married for 11 years, breaking up for 6. He is not a party guy, he occasionally hits up church on Sundays, and his life is consumed with work and his kids. He met a woman he was feeling but after being married for so long, he wasn’t sure what to say to her or how to ease into a relationship. After a week or two of calling her, asking to cook for her and attempting to see her in any way possible, P got confused at the responses he was getting. He was showing interest in this woman. Every other girl he had brushed off because in his mind it was all or nothing. No woman compared to his ex-wife until now, and he was almost ready to insert her in that spot. So when she wanted to meet out for drinks…he was ready to spend the weekend, plan trips, send pictures of his kids, and tell her what he wanted in a wife. She liked the attention but didn’t feel like it was genuine and she decided to fall back.
Not everyone knows how to date. Some dudes have been in long relationships, some believe dating means sex with one person at a time, and some guys just got out of college where a date consisted of a campus party, a study session, or a dorm visit/sleepover. So how can a woman expect a man to just know what to do unless he has guidance?
There are films, older mentors, family and friends that can help him out, but there could be a chance that he came to you before anyone assisted him. How would you know though? Inquire within to find out his situation. If some gentleman was just involved for half of his adult life with one person, you can’t expect him to understand how to take baby-steps with you. His mentality might be all or nothing. Or he may be so unsure of how the dating process works that he may wait for you to say, “go.” My point is not all men are jerks, and sometimes patience is a great thing.