To Date Or Not To Date (Ten Reasons He’s Not Dating You)


dwyane gabrielle

Someone once said to me, “A man is as faithful as his options.”
I wasn’t sure what that meant until I had a conversation with a rapper friend of mine. He had been married for seven years and has two kids with his wife. She was his college sweetheart and he was faithful. As a rapper, he is expected to have groupies and a bunch of women but his underground status only gave him access to real hip-hop fans and females that really weren’t interested in him physically. Of course there are always one or two that throw themselves at him regardless of his level of fame, but it was never a thought to risk his home life.

And then he got featured on a reality show, and then his underground stardom rose to a level where he began to get noticed more frequently. Then he started making more money from the reality show, and he began dressing better, and being at places where there were other celebrities. What seemed like a lifetime of struggle was now almost overnight success. And then there was a tour…a real tour, where people knew his name and wanted to see him. And all of a sudden, the wife at home who was everything to him seemed like a pitstop on the road to success. He saw himself possibly dating actresses and R&B singers and when it was time to go to the BET Awards, his wife asked if she was invited and he told her that it was important for him to appear single so that he could market himself to ladies.

He then experimented with groupies and side chicks and even carried on a relationship with a B-list celebrity singer. Their situation came to light, his wife left, the singer cheated on him and they broke up as well. He lost his spot on the reality show and his fame declined, and he tried to go back to his ex-wife and they are currently in counseling. But it doesn’t take a therapist to tell him what men already know: more money, more fame; leads to more options. It doesn’t mean that if a man is in a happy, committed relationship that he’s settling, it just means that if he isn’t, he may have a belief that there is something better out there even if that is just an illusion.

There are a lot of women out there. And considering there are so many men on the other side, in jail, or dead, men seem to have more options.
But for women in their late 20s, early 30s and so on, they don’t
have as many glorious candidates for marriage (according to my research). So that means that although you’re pretty and all that, he doesn’t have to be pressed about hitting you up right now unless he’s sure he wants to pursue that. Now this is another subconscious action. No man sits there, looks in the mirror and thinks, “I’m not calling her because I have four other chicks that I have to make time for and you never know what’s better out there.” But they might find themselves dragging their feet because there’s no urgency to see you again.

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