To Date Or Not To Date (Ten Reasons He’s Not Dating You)Posted: February 15, 2016
Kiki could not understand why someone like her with a wonderful figure and an adorable face was met with sexual requests over marriage proposals throughout her life. She kept meeting men that wanted to spend time with her, flirt with her, talk on the phone, and even take her out from time to time. But ultimately when things got physical, that was the climax of their dealings. The calls would diminish, the daily texts slowed down, and the mentions of commitment were absent.
What was she doing wrong? Was she giving out sex signals? Were her clothes too revealing? Did her hair, make-up and curvy measurements suggest that all she was good for was to be a bedroom buddy? I wanted to tell her not to take it personal, but how else would anyone take that? Was the answer to hold out for three months or wait six months or wait until their wedding night? I told her the term “holding out” might be your issue. A lot of times women focus on how they will appear to a man instead of being who you are and choosing what you want out of the situation first.
Sometimes you don’t even see the dude as husband material yet you follow the same blueprint. Do what you feel and trust that every human is different, if he only wants you for your body, accept that truth and move accordingly.
Ladies: Do you remember the part about you not being wifey? That has nothing to do with him wanting to sleep with you. Men are physical, visual animals that meet women and envision them making funny faces and noises in response to sexual activities. Males want to dominate and conquer.
So when there is a woman showing a lot of skin or she has those stripper assets that she decides to show, or she doesn’t follow the top/bottom lady rule, (show some cleavage, cover the legs, or if you show the legs, keep the top veiled)…guys will see you and think sex. Again, men will look at your photos, and in some cases investigate your past.
Sometimes he knows three guys that you slept with and that’s fine. But just be mindful that he may not take you seriously as his wife. You may not be responsible for having a “video girl” ass. No one can blame you for your breasts with a cup size that flunked out of class, and now your face and mind are the forgotten attributes. It’s not your fault. But for some reason, him spending money on you is not worth getting you in the bed.
So he may find ways to go around it until you are on the same page.
And that page is in the book of lust. Again, this is not bad or evil,
it just is. He may be into you and you don’t have to think like a man
to figure it out. All you have to do is ask him and don’t just listen to his words, pay attention to his body language and judge his actions and you will know what he wants.
Kiki asked a man on their third phone call what his intention was since they met in a club, and that night she was somewhat inebriated and her cleavage was on display. He said some crap about wanting to get to know her, taking it slow, playing it by ear and hoping they could remain friends no matter what.
He really meant to say this, “Hey girl, I think you’re gorgeous, smart, fun, and you’re going to make someone very happy as a companion but when I look at you, I just want to sleep with you and I cannot get over that sexual attraction. I don’t see us going anywhere else right now. I know you’re not a slut and this should not be considered as casual sex. I just don’t want to mislead you into thinking I want more when I don’t. Maybe if we do it 12 or 13 times we will find more in common with each other and realize that we should explore something deeper. Or maybe we’ll mess up and make a baby and be a part of each other’s lives forever. I would rather the multiple guilt-free sexual experiences over the connection or the child, but I’m down for whatever…let me know what you think.”