To Date Or Not To Date (Ten Reasons He’s Not Dating You)Posted: February 15, 2016
My boy Rah has a ten-year-old son that stays with him every weekend. Last year he considered moving in with his girl who he had been seeing for four years. She has two daughters that are 11 and 14 years of age. Rah is strict with his son, he spends time with him everyday, he studies with him, has him do chores, push-ups, and makes sure his grades are on point. He knew that moving in with his girl would be a big change and he would have to allow his son time to adapt the new surroundings and what could possibly be his new family.
The woman he was seeing was not a disciplinarian and Rah witnessed occurrences in their home that alarmed him once he got to know her daughters. The way they dressed disturbed him, their lack of concern with school was tough to swallow, and most of all they were very into boys. All it took was one or two instances of conflict where Rah attempted to assert himself as the father figure they didn’t have because their biological was across the country with a new fam. In one of those scenarios he insisted the girls do their homework before talking on the phone and watching TV, another time he tried to encourage the older child to change her revealing garments before heading out to meet a young man who was much older. The end result was a big argument with his lady who loudly alerted him that they were not his daughters….and voila the relationship concluded. Rah’s son still asks about the lady he was close to, and Rah is now on extra guard about future endeavors with single mothers and with exposing his son to his mates too early.
Ladies: You have children and he doesn’t. You take care
of your kids, your child, your offspring or whatever you call them. You don’t need a man to step in and do anything for you. However, be aware that some men carry baggage that includes dealing with a single mother in the past that
had a crazy “babyfather,” or they dealt with a single mom that became needy, or one that had a disrespectful child, or even a youngin that got very attached. Some men might not want to be second in your life. So with that said, any of those instances can be a lot to handle when it comes to dating.
So a man may have just placed you in the “can’t go too far” category
if you have kids.
And that would cause him to take it easy as opposed to going hard. He
wants to be let off the hook, he doesn’t want the pressure of possibly
being a stepdaddy and he definitely doesn’t want to start to like you
for real or meet the children and like them.
So that leaves you in the friend zone or the lust arena. Don’t take it