To Date Or Not To Date (Ten Reasons He’s Not Dating You)

I wrote this maybe 2 and a half years ago when I was in a space where I may have felt like a  relationship guru. I think it was at a time where quite a few of my female acquaintances were going through the same ordeals with men. And I remember being at a house gathering and hearing multiple complaints about my gender and their lack of dating skills. I almost created something stupid like this:

Luckily I didn’t. But anyway, this is what I came up with and it may apply to some people and be helpful…or it may not make sense and sound like gibberish. Check it out though.

Ladies, are you mildly bothered because the dude that you met recently or the guy that you’re somewhat interested in, is just texting you here and there with a kind word and a slight suggestion about getting together?

Does he just want to “hang out,” “meet up,” or find out where you’re going to be so he can “show up,” or invite you to bring your friends?

Do you get offended when you get asked out on a “date” via text
message as opposed to a phone call like Steve Harvey warned you about?

And what about an invite to his home or the request to visit you? What the hell is that about? You’re not a Netflix and chill girl. How come you guys haven’t really gone out? He hasn’t spent any money on you or showed you how much he’s really curious about you, yet he wants you to come over and “get to know him” so soon?

You’re a lady. He should know that if he wants to see you, he should
make a plan. And that plan should be in advance. He should be prompt,
he should follow up, he should express interest in you and whoever
else is involved in your life, (your kids if you have some) and this
series of dates should lead you guys onto a path of serious
relationship consideration at a moderate speed. And if not, at least
you get to spend some time out of the house, get a few free meals, and
maybe even get some physical contact if the chemistry is there.

Is that too much to ask? Why hasn’t this happened yet? Why hasn’t
this man offered to pick you up and go to a museum, or to dinner, or to
a play, or to one of those outings that would let you know he’s original, thoughtful, and cultured?

I don’t know.

I do know. But first you must understand that Steve Harvey’s book had
some truths and some helpful tips, but it was written in the voice of
a hater. And He’s Just Not That Into You was brilliant, honest, and
raw, but it did not explore the psyche of men in detail.

I am not writing a relationship book…yet. I don’t think I know
enough, and generalizing men and women is just bad practice. However,
I have done enough research to know why men might hesitate or move
slow when it comes to dating. Hit the numbers below and check out ten reasons I found after interviews and conversations with heterosexual dudes about dating.

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